kay. im back
every time i eat i feel like dying.
this is how it goes
i contemplate what i am going to eat…meeting half way between what i wanna eat and what i should. tonight it was wanna: seafood should:nothing greasy no heavyness
so i purchased garlic sauteed shrimp w a side of BREAD
now i feel like shit
im full and believe me i can eat more but stopping myself
but i feel full then i call myself FAT
STEPH YOUR SO FATT
NO SERIOUSLY YOUR FATT
IM NOT FATT IM BEAUTIFUL
FATTT FATT FATT
now i think of ways to get rid of it
throwing up was a disgusting horrifiing experience that left my throat swollen and raw for weeks=not doing that
crying=am doing it
weightless promises to my bruised and throughly untrusting ego
i want to trust myself and its promises but
but.
luv
steph
