iloveyoutoo.

₪

growing balls for the 09

so this is what taking risks feel like.

₪

i feel so helpless. its making me so sad. i feel like my hands are tied strapped down i can do anything.

ill be better tommorrow.

₪

im getting fuckd up. i know im gonna regret in the morning but

fuck it.

salut

₪

I need a

distraction

tall

male

worldly

OPEN

Ardently

Passionatly

Living

this

Life

Love.

₪

kay. im back

every time i eat i feel like dying.

this is how it goes

i contemplate what i am going to eat…meeting half way between what i wanna eat and what i should. tonight it was wanna: seafood should:nothing greasy no heavyness

so i purchased garlic sauteed shrimp w a side of BREAD

now i feel like shit

im full and believe me i can eat more but stopping myself

but i feel full then i call myself FAT

STEPH YOUR SO FATT

NO SERIOUSLY YOUR FATT

IM NOT FATT IM BEAUTIFUL

FATTT FATT FATT

now i think of ways to get rid of it

throwing up was a disgusting horrifiing experience that left my throat swollen and raw for weeks=not doing that

crying=am doing it

weightless promises to my bruised and throughly untrusting ego

i want to trust myself and its promises but

but.

luv

steph

₪

im happy.

things happen for a reason. people DO things for a reason. im not dumb by ANY means. soo lol i mean what more can i say im happyy but i feel bad for her when i get back because i know hes gonna be on me and im not gonna want him which will obviously mean he’ll want me more and then she’ll be neglected BUT not if i can help it. im gonna be too busy plus i know what kind of man im interested in and i will get and its not him :( so thak you god. thank you so very much for

everything.

ill edit this another day back to bio ttyl